YOU KNOW...

I READ IN MY SISTER'S GRAZIA
THAT BIRDS LIKE IT IF YOU ASK 'EM QUESTIONS.

OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
RIGHT, WE'RE GOING OUT.

STEVE HERE'S GOT A BTEC.

- CONGRATULATIONS.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?

WHAT? WHAT DID JAY SAY?

AYE, AYE, SI,
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU'D JOINED JLS.

WHAT'S HE ON ABOUT, THE FUCKING WANKER?
TALKING BOLLOCKS AS USUAL.

IT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR A MAN,
ONE GIANT LEAP FOR YOUR FLIPPERS.

NAH, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO.
TEACHERS SAY COS

THAT BRIEFCASE MAKES ME WANNA PUNCH YOU.

COURSE.

IS IT VELVET?

LOOK MATE,
WOMEN ARE LIKE FAIRGROUND RIDES.

PHASE TWO OF THE PLAN WAS
HOW TO GET SOME BOOZE.

WE'LL TAKE IT WITH US. THEY'LL
DEFINITELY HAVE A PLACE TO STORE IT.

- AND I DID NOTHING WRONG.
- NOT NOTHING.

TOM, THIS IS SIMON
I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.

- THIS IS THE BEST!
- YOU'RE GOING TO HELL.

I THOUGHT YOU DID...

- I WANT TO TRY IT BEFORE I MEET TARA.
- I CAN COOK TOAST. AND EGGS.

THIS COULDN'T HAVE GONE ANY BETTER.

- BOLLOCKS.
- EASILY COULD.

I'M THE WORST HUMAN BEING IN THE WORLD.